Visiting the Dead

We live close to a Pioneer Cemetery. Although at one time more than 500 people were buried there, most of the gravestones have been removed and the place feels like a park .  Most of the dead are were buried in the mid 1800s; the cemetery closed in 1900. Each time we walk past, Toe wants to go in and look at the gravestones.

We noticed a number of the markers were down or had been broken. We read the epitaphs and talked about the age of people buried there, whether they are buried with their children, if everyone died the same year (and what might have happened). I am always struck by the number of deaths at a young age. If the person survived 60, it was notable. Toe enjoys going there so much that if we walk there on our way someplace, we must also stop on our way back.

Seeing this young child with the memorial markers from people who died more than a hundred years ago is a very odd juxtaposition.

It reminds me of that poem:

Ozymandias
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

I know Shelley is commenting on how even the powerful fade over time, but I see it in this cemetery of ordinary people. There are great river pilots next to children who died at two. Many of the markers have faded so much they are hard to read. And we, more than a hundred years later, see so little and wonder... And we, too, will be gone in the blink of an eye.

I find the cemetery a pleasant place to visit. Possibly because it is quiet and peaceful. Possibly because it is the great equalizer. Mostly because it somehow feels like it connects us to the past. I think that's what Toe gets out of it when we visit. I know in some countries, people have picnics at their family gravestones, and I see that as kind of beautiful.

Soccer Week

Toe and "Little Wheels"

 LCYSA does an amazing soccer camp. Toe had such a great time. Three hours a day for four days (the camp runs five, but we pulled Toe Thursday and rested - he was exhausted!) Toe played games, learned skills, and ran, ran, ran. All of the younger kids warmed up together playing games led by the camp leader, Wheels (all of the counselors had camp names), and then the kids were divided into small groups. The smaller sessions had a balance of learning specific skills in a very structured environment and then had time to play games where they could get in in play right away.

Wednesday's water day was a great way to hit the middle of the week. The kids were having fun, but they were tired. The last 45 minutes, the counselors talked about expectations (outlining the dry zone, talking about safe practices with each other and the sprinklers),  handed out squeeze water bottles, filled with water, and let the kids run and squirt each other. The sprinklers came on as the kids ran out of water and everyone scrambled to either get more wet or to refill their bottles. It was chaos, and the kids had SO MUCH FUN.

A safe view from the "dry zone."

The camp was run by one family. "Camp Mom" had done all of the administrative prep and was on-hand to provide ice packs, snacks, and generally help campers who needed something. "Big Wheels" (the Dad) ran the camp for older kids. "Wheels," (eldest son - finishing college) ran the camp for the younger kids and "Little Wheels" and "Training Wheels" (sons in high school) worked as counselors for the younger kids. SUCH a nice family. They definitely provided the leadership for the rest of the counselors. For a one week session, I was surprised how well they learned the campers' names and personalities. They were all excellent with Toe. The other counselors were great, too, supportive and fun, but all of The Wheels really stood out.

Just about every photo I took of Toe includes a giant smile. He did it all with a smile. And when he checked out and just started spinning or wandered off, he was gently brought back to the task at hand. It was positive, relaxed environment that was perfect for day camp. Toe is already ready for next year.

A friend of Toe's from preschool also took the camp. They had some good times together.

Soccer Mom

 It's official. I'm a soccer mom. At least for this week. We have signed Toe up for a week of soccer camp - three hours a day, five days in one week. Because of Toe's CF we had some concerns. We had to make sure that if another child there had CF, he/she was not placed on Toe's team. Toe has a tendency to overheat and dehydration and loss of sodium are two things that are critical issues for people with CF. He also must be given enzymes if he is fed a snack....

I think about those parents who sign their kids up and just show up, drop them off, and leave. So different from our experience. I have to call ahead and clear Toe's attendance, briefly explain cystic fibrosis, describe my concerns, fill out more detailed medical forms including doctors and insurance numbers, identify ourselves at the actual day camp... the list goes on. Everyone has been incredibly understanding and willing to accommodate Toe's needs.

We also try to make it as easy as possible. Either J or I plan to stay at each day camp to feed Toe his enzymes when they have snack, to make sure he gets hydrated, and to watch for overheating. The counselors are great, but each one is responsible for about 8 kids. I can't expect in the course of a week for them to be able to recognize how Toe looks when he overheats.

 Fortunately we live on the coast, so hot weather is unusual. Day one was overcast and 65. Today was still under 70 and sunny. Somewhere in hour two, the kids came in for a drink break and Toe had the telltale signs: flushed cheeks, sweat, slightly glazed eyes. I made him drink and pulled him into the shade with me until he cooled down, then sent him back onto the field for the last twenty minutes of the day. At that point I realized that it would be a good idea for me to continue to be there just to make sure.

The time and energy we put into it as CF parents is completely worth it. Exercise is very important for CF patients as it helps build strong muscles and healthy lungs. And running is supposed to be the best.

The camp is well run - great camp counselors, age appropriate games and drills, a flexible and fun attitude. Today was mismatch/tye-dye day (thus the backwards shirt on the counselor below). Tomorrow is water day. Standing water can also be problematic for kids with CF. We'll see how it goes. I expect to be pretty flexible and shower him afterwards. At least it will keep him cool.

Toe's joy as he plays is palpable.

Awesome

 

For those of you who don't know, Jason's brother is living with us for a few months before he sets off on some travels. Having grown up in a three parent household, I see this as a very natural thing (My mom, dad, and grandmother all moved in together when I was one, not of necessity, but because we spent so much time together, it seemed a waste to have two houses.). 

Scott (self-proclaimed "Uncle Awesome" - an apt title) makes a wonderful and easy addition to our household.

Three years ago, when Uncle Awesome  returned from over a decade in South Korea, he needed a place to stay and moved in with us for about six months. We had a blast. Toe had a wonderful playmate. Awesome provides a different parent energy than either J or I can offer. He also is the best housemate ever - he shares in most of the domestic tasks and is an amazing cook. He is J's brother, but he his my friend as well - someone with whom I just enjoy spending time. He and J and I have all known each other since we were kids and have grown up together, so there is a real camaraderie/ family feel to the house. 

In similar fashion, he has adopted my family (especially the nieces) as his own.

 

The re-adjustment to having him live with us again took me under three days. I'm having such a good time talking about recipes and food, possibilities for the new house, ideas, plans. And I know first-hand how incredibly magical it can be for kids to live with another family member. This bond that Awesome and Toe are creating will last Toe's entire life. Awesome's plan is to stay through early fall and I am already feeling that it will not be long enough...

Today's lunch: stuffed tomatoes over eggs and hash a la Awesome.