I decided I wanted to spend part of the Fourth of July working in our back yard. I went out to mow, but the soil was perfect for pulling dandelions. As I pulled, I started contemplating the past month and the kind of America I would like to see. I think recognizing wrongs is a critical step, but it is also critical to envision the world we would like to see. I got caught up in my work and realized that pulling dandelions is actually a good metaphor for the work I am currently doing.
I admit it. My yard is not a traditional lawn. I don't use fertilizer or weed killer. The yard is filled with moss and clover and buttercups and early in the spring I let the dandelions bloom for the bees. I mow as often as I can and as long as it is soft underfoot and not blooming enough to cause allergies, I'm pretty satisfied. But every once in a while, the dandelions take over the yard and it's time to roll up my sleeves.
Saturday, the soil was damp and the dandelions slid from the ground with relatively little effort. The neighborhood was eerily quiet and as I fell into a rhythm, digging and tossing, I began to think. We have had such a strange spring, a perfect storm of events to set us off balance and face uncertainty. It feels like things have turned upside down and we are questioning everything. I see a lot of people angry and hurting and taking their anger out on others. I see just as many people (many of whom are also angry and hurting) working for positive change. Sometimes the two overlap. Humans are messy, emotional creatures, and these are messy, emotional times. I can't control anyone but myself (and MAYBE maybe influence my family and friends). But before I reach out to anyone, even my own son, I need to work on myself.
I began thinking of dandelions as my personal biases. I need to pull them one by one. When the soil is primed, they are easier to pull. Sometimes I can't get the roots. Some patches of the yard have a few, some areas have clusters so huge, it's hard to tell where to pull. The work is dirty and monotonous and sometimes causes blisters or aching joints. I get one area finished and look back and find I have missed a few. I will never get them all. This is ongoing work, needing regular tending.
As I pulled, I found a rock - an old pathway through the middle of the yard that had grown over. I got new tools and pulled the rocks. Under one I found an ant colony and called Jason and Toe out to look at it with me.
Toe said, "You're digging ROCKS?! Can I do that too?" I was delighted. J wanted to help, too, but injured his back in March and is still recovering. I suggested that he supervise and verbally assist.
The next 30 minutes were so sweet. J guided Toe in finding rocks, digging them up without tearing up the lawn, and then using soil to fill in the holes. It was amazing to listen to the way J broke it down into easy steps and helped Toe plan his actions as well as execute them. Meanwhile, I moved on to a different part of the yard and kept pulling.
Toe and I became tired and sore before the work was done. We'll have to come back to it another day. When I got too tired to pull dandelions any more, I mowed. The yard is patchy now, but the holes will fill in.
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| Toe's rocks |
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| Post - pull |
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| My haul |
I am still contemplating the better world I would like to see. There are so many things in our world that need fixing, it is overwhelming. I think right now it is important to face what is in front of us. I am learning about the Black Lives Matter movement, learning about the Coronavirus as science works desperately to catch up with this fast moving disease. I am learning right now. I am reading and talking to friends who have more experience and/or knowledge than I do and examining my strengths and weaknesses. My goal is to better understand, to be a better ally, show up and use my strengths to help make this a world where we all have equal opportunities and rights. I am working on my back yard before I move to the public space of my front yard.
This metaphor won't work for everyone. Probably doesn't work for anyone but me. Each person has different strengths, weaknesses, perspectives, and biases. Many people have different yard-care techniques. That's ok. I just thought I'd share mine so you might go take a look at your yard.
