Lessons From Preschool

I am regularly hearing the lessons Toe learned in preschool applied in new contexts. One of the most recent happened on a drive a few days ago. We were driving along the highway and a car pulled out in front of me. There was plenty of room, it was a normal driving scenario, but from the back I heard, "Mom, that car went in front of you!"
"Yes," I said.
"But it cut in front of you in line!" (complete indignation in his tone of voice) "At preschool the teachers say that you are not supposed to cut in front of people in line. You go to the back of the line."

I had a moment of panic as I tried to think how to explain the situation while respecting the *important* rule he had learned at preschool. In the end, I explained that drivers wait for an opening in traffic - that it was kind of like waiting for the end of one line. Because there had been a space, we were the beginning of the next line. He accepted it. This time.

The part that fascinates me is that all year I have been asking him about preschool - what he learned, who he played with, how his day went... It was like pulling teeth. I could get some information some days, but I really had to piece it together. Toe mostly reported on friendships and group dynamics. I heard next to nothing about actual lessons or curriculum. I wasn't worried, he had great teachers whom I trusted completely. But now, as we go about our business through the day, I hear Toe trying to make sense of his world through the lens of the lessons he learned in preschool. This example is probably not the best one, because it makes his preschool sound much more regimented than it really was, but it is the one that sticks in my mind because it took me by surprise. I often wonder what else is going on inside that head of his, how he is working to make sense of the things that happen in his world.

Party Party!

Toe went to his first kid birthday party yesterday. He has been invited to many others, but they have been held at the bowling alley (germs), the local kids' indoor play space (more germs), or other germy places. This one was held at the friend's house, so we went. It was perfect. There were four boys there, including the birthday boy, and the older brother had two friends, so there were only seven kids total. Mothers and fathers showed up, so it felt more like a barbecue than a birthday party. Since all of the kids had gone to the same preschool (including the older kids), they all had an understanding of how to play with each other gently, and it was just a mellow, happy get together.

I spent time getting to know some other mothers and taking photos (because that's how I roll). Toe needed a little side coaching on how to act during the present-opening portion of the event (Toe, it's about E., not about you. Your job is to sit and appreciate. This is his day.). He was thrilled that he got to drink juice AND eat watermelon. The only trouble we had was that he didn't want to leave at the end. Hopefully we will see more of these families this summer. We were all surprised to discover that we live in a one-mile radius. It is exciting to have some friends nearby.

Graduation Season

 

 I've always been sort of dubious about the number of graduations there are these days: preschool, kindergarten, elementary school... it all seemed so contrived to me. Now that I am a parent actually experiencing it, I understand why they have them.

Joseph Campbell talks about the importance of ritual and public celebration. Birth, coming of age, marriage, death, are all celebrated by the community and the individual and community are stronger for it. I get it. But, I also am beginning to understand that some of the smaller milestones need recognition too. I saw that public celebration recently at my son's preschool graduation.

It was a simple affair. The kids had hats, sat at circle for the last time, sang three songs they have learned through the year (one about respecting themselves, one about how to say no, and one about how to call on an adult figure if situations could not be resolved... I approved), and were given diplomas, books, and small tokens. The whole thing took twenty minutes.

Toe and his friends had a great time. Parents, grandparents, and siblings were there to bear witness to the last day these friends would have together in this space. The kids are moving on to three different elementary schools in the region. And Toe has come so far. At the beginning of the school year, he was terrified to be in a situation without his mom or dad there. He was reassured during the first few days of school, but also clingy. Over the months, Toe came to feel that this was his space, these were his people, and he belonged. He would walk into the room like Norm in that old tv show Cheers, knowing that his place was assured. He built many skills - most importantly, the ability to play with friends his own age. And he made some great friends, ones whom we will continue to see outside of school.

This is completely thanks to Mrs. Raihala and Ms. Allen, the wonderful teachers at Grace Preschool. They create an atmosphere of calm and respect that allows these children to feel safe, loved, and ready to explore. Learning happens through play, and children are given ample time for self exploration, as well as instruction. The kids sang, did yoga, did imaginative play, built, painted, learned to clean up.... all in a relaxed and happy atmosphere. Parents only were able to volunteer once a month, so I was only able to attend a few days, but I loved what I saw, and I love the things that I hear at home even more. 

Next year, as it stands, he will be going to Kindergarten half days at the local elementary school. We will see if the school is able to meet Toe's needs and if he stays healthy. If it doesn't work, we would send him back to Grace Preschool in a heartbeat (the education he needs is more social than academic at this point). They took care of his CF needs willingly and helped Toe learn how to interact with other people. They have created a foundation for us - the first base beyond what his parents can teach him - that will be with him for the rest of his life.

If that's not worth celebrating, I'm not sure what is.